I suppose that as someone who has survived terror, my gift and message is to recognize that life is terror but life is beauty too. At first when I went through my great losses, I was angry and bitter. I thought “how could this happen to ME?!” But life doesn’t care. Life metes out terror to all. Some of us get a bigger helping than others, and before I was very unhappy about that. But now, I see how that stress has ripened me like the sun baking grapes on the vine to make them sweeter. I know that people in the grips of terror are loathe to hear that “it’s all happening for a reason,” and I understand the futility of that comment. I can only say that I have found peace in spite of the terror. Some days the whip’s sting lashes me right in the gut, and I have to metaphorically sit down for a bit. And yet, I have to get up and move forward. It sounds overly trite, I know, but life is not in the falling down but in the getting up. Life is not in the frowns, but in the smiles that dare to supplant them in the face of terror.
Don’t be destabilized by the news. That’s the aim. It is informational terrorism and bullying. Find your center and know what is right. Show no fear to the bullies, and they will run. We have a vision for a bright future, and Trump & Co. are trying to piss on that vision, but if we hold fast to that vision of inclusion, openness, and true American values, it will manifest. They might hit us, but we are beings of light inside these vulnerable bodies. The body might be damaged, but our spirits remain luminous and solar. There is no need for faith if you don’t have fear, and if you don’t fear death, you will have no existential fear. You might have small fears concerning your day to day survival, but you will be like a stone, immutable.
I was bullied from age 6. I know what it’s like to live in terror, but now I’ve learned that they are like the Wizard of OZ: “Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!” The technological explosion of tools of illusion has given the bullies the ability to create big and scary Wizards of OZ, but they are just that little man behind the curtain.
We are the strength. Because you have love, you are the power. To quote Chogyam Trungpa “laugh at your fears!” Laugh at the bullies. America is in a cold civil war, so the material consequences of what is going on are real, but you are not just the material. Know that material goods come and go like the tides. Detach from them and be strong.
Smile my fellow lunatics! They’ve come to take our joy, but they can take my belly laughs out of my cold, dead body. Haha 🌞
the kingdom comes
upon my breast
of wakened stressful hues
with what you said
when Mars invaded
leaving lovers dry, unsated
crying at the circumstance
a comic dance where fumbling ruled
I’ll hold your tender love
inside my heart
my me is you
I’m here unclothed
climb high upon my thighs and shout
this thing called us is fate’s pure clout
but then you said you must be gone
with swords drawn strong
we swung and cut
Once heroines, now vaults sealed shut
but then a root or shoot or ray
went back to her with a simple “Hey…”
I love you like the sun, my queen
I bow to kiss your cloven toes
Come dance with me again my twin
Like lanterns, we will burn and glow
Let dear death come nobly
throwing flowers, sing the air
though grim, his visage, glowing, shouts
a devil’s trine from eyes to mouth
I’ve always been his fine handmaiden
even when I walked a child
now ethers smoke where once was her
Persephone in bridal trim
Come swiftly end
let null pervade
this last dance spins
the Earth’s parade
Oh in the name of dwarf-planet Eris, icy queen of the Plutonic Kuiper Realms, I inhale the vapors of the Libran full moon, I call on my transgender powers to end all of Western Civilization just by being, I drink from the goblet of Saint Hoffman, and I exhale…
So now that Christ is dead until Sunday and all. Since he’s indisposed, I thought I’d share without worry of shame because sometimes I really overthink my perspective, and I just need to get it out. I should probably just give a report on my life since Facebook is beseeching me to share!
It’s definitely a ride in the ol’ Yellow Submarine machine. I thank my lucky Neptune that I’m still alive, and I somehow happen to have a beautiful girlfriend too!
I’m working full time, and in school full time to become a mental health worker, so all super serioso stuff. I live in Portland, Oregon, a city that is absolutely without peer in its total inability to handle the Trump presidency without internalizing the official “the sky is falling!”, “you’re a pathetic serf,” “no gods will love you,” premise, which is the whole fucking point of the Trump “we really, really don’t like black presidents!” golden apple shitpost of a presidency. I mean, I know it’s like the perfect bait for the holy roller Luke Skywalker staring into the desert class. I get it. But, this shit is too much. Laugh people! Laugh at your captors! Gleefully squirm in their shackles.
Oh, and I work for the Oregon Department of Environmental Quality, and you know how pissed we are at everything. I’m shaking my finger at you world! My facebook post is now being edited by grammarly for appropriateness now. Goddess forbid that I mispel a word!
And right now, I’m just barfing up digital confetti because that’s the appropriate reaction to the Paleo friendly Zuckerberg stew that we’re all pigging down on. But don’t worry! Silicon Valley is disrupting our way to salvation!
But lastly, please don’t let any of this profane anti-social speech condemn my future and my children’s future to a life of bleak toil on the lunar spice mines. I need to get a license and all. Thank God I can use this phony creation called Abbey Pope, Discordo-shaman to the interweebs and total alter ego and definitely not the other girl on my resume that shall remain nameless.
Praise the giant dwarf planet asteroid dancing in the sky who conjuncted my moon as a babe. I know you will always be with me because you know, you can’t spell Aries without
oh well, you get it…
Please return to your veneration rituals to the solar zombie god.